*

"the gate opens, the gate closes..
it does not help."
-the gate

well, i signed a lease with josh and carrie tonight. i feel that i should of thought on it some more. but the place is nice and i should be able to afford it... so how come i dont feel any better about things?

i know that this is what i wanted. but its just that it was sorta fast. it happened very fast. i didnt let myself think about it like i normally do... like i normally over think everything. so, for 6 months i will be in ohio. i dont know how i am going to handle the job situation. will i apply at the jobs hobbit mentioned? will i stay where i am now and remain free from many things you have in a true corp job?

all i do know, is that i have been putting out cigarettes just as fast as i can light them. in a brighter view of things, i am not leaving friends behind, i am far enough from my current home that i can let strings break. but its been so long since i had to be adult like that.

girl: i dont have an answer to that. but i am sure its related to something you are only going to tip-toe around.
me: maybe.. but i cant help it.
girl: i know. i know. its a lot like what your friend hobbit told you tonight. you will make it. you will come out alive. you will come out a live and winters.
me: ...
girl: he said it first. but it sounds about right if you ask me. *shrugs* but then again, who i am to say.
me: ...
girl: well, dont let it worry you so much. you know as well as i do that this isnt whats on your mind deep down.
me: i know. i do. its just... *holds out hands* i dont know.
girl: i cant play your little games tonight. so, go get your money and just jump in the water. but, before i go... *pauses* ... you know, tonight, you need to work this out on your own. when you really want to talk about what you wont talk about, i'll find you.
me: yeah. thats for the best right now. take care.
girl: you too.

posted by gasmouth at November 2, 2004 12:00 AM
Posted to drivel | fiction