I keep telling myself she's only a dream.

I don't think it's working anymore. Just a glimpse makes my joints ache. I can't wear my hoodie anymore without becoming weak. It's amazing how I never even knew her. What have I become?

Nights like tonight make me think I'll be this way forever. I wonder if I'll ever meet her. How awkward would that be?

I got mad at my hair. It is no more. I feel lost.

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that i'm the only broken hearted loser you'll ever need.

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Larissa, you may get a kick out of this. Or not.

So I started playing World of Warcraft again. Around level 10, my orc hunter needed a pet, and I chose a nightsaber. Yeah, those things in Teldrassil here all the night elves start. Deep deep in allied territory. . If anyone knows, that's not an easy trek for a level 10. So I die a lot. Then I realize I can use the boats and teleporters while a ghost. So that made it easier.

So I tame me a nightsaber in between about 50 level 1-3 night elves. None of them attacked me, which made it easier not to kill them, since I couldn't. That would have been nice, though. I decide to go sight seeing. Exploring, gaining levels in allied territory was a new experience. Only one person attacked me, and I got an honorable kill (at level 14! My new record.) I notice a waterfall falling off the north edge of the giant tree. There's one little stupid spot on the edge of the cliff where you can get in, but can't get out. And it tempts you, because it loosk like you can just jump right out.

Stupid me, drops into it. The only way out is to teleport or die. And my hearthstone has 25 minutes left to cooldown. So I fall, and die. No biggie. I'll just get to my corpse and not fall into the waterfall again. But when I get there, my corpse is way to far below me, not allowing me to resurrect. So, stupid me falls down to my corpse, as a ghost. And instead of resurrecting, I fall again. This time it's about a 2 minute fall to the ocean below Teldrassil. (not exaggerating. 2 minutes falling.) Here's where I ended up after a little trek to see how far North I can go, since I can't get back on the tree from here.





Notice the edge of the world on the minimap.

After about 40 minutes of walking around the stupid tree, i'm here.



All in all, it took me way too long to accomplish very little in Teldrassil. I did end up getting rid of my cat around level 16 to tame a faster nightsaber. This one was in Dark Shore. Booya. For the record, I named my cat Bosh, after local wrestler Chris Bosh.

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For the first time in a few weeks, my mind was clear tonight. For about 40 minutes, at least. No thoughts about hospitals, or operations, or paying $50,000 in loans.

We had a really good show. A good turn out for the opening band, I'd say. There were more people watching us than watching the other bands. A lot of people enjoyed our set. A handful of people came up to me right when we finished to talk to me. I felt bad, because I kind of had to blow them off to get my shit off the stage for the next band to set up. But I made sure I found the few people to let them know. I'm sure they didn't care. But I did.

I don't know what's going to happen now. The stubborness really got to me tonight. I'm expecting some high school level drama here. We'll see how it goes.

I'm going to watch Home Movies, volume 3 and try and fall asleep. Again. Let's see how it works.

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Somewhere along the line, I went out with some friends. There, I met a girl. I'm still not sure of her name, only of who she reminded me of.

Time went by, and we became pretty close friends. We'd sit and play guitar in her van, we'd watch Home Movies, we'd listen to the B-52s. There was never anyone like her before.

One day, in her van, I noticed one of her guitars attached to the ceiling. As I reached up, I had noticed she wasn't there anymore. That moment is when I realized how much she meant to me. I still didn't know her name; only who she reminded me of.

I heard through some people that she was moving across the world. In a last effort, I drove out to find the van. As I stepped out of the car and into the rain, i was greeted with "Are you Cameron? I'm supposed to tell you that she's at the baseball field." I ran faster than I ever thought possible to find her in the stands watching a game that didn't exist. I stumbled up to her, and grabbed her in my arms. We just stood there, embraced, for hours. The first and last thing she ever said to me was "I must go." With that, I was alone.

She left her mark on me. I may not ever be the same person I was before I met her. And I can't even tell you her name. Thoughts of her still remind me. It's like it was all a dream. And I honestly can't tell you that it happened.

You can't take her away from me.

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So, I've watched Empire Records 6 times this week. I don't know many movies I can watch that much in a week. Maybe School of Rock. But I don't know.

It seems all I do is watch that movie and listen to Him and The Cranberries. Oh, and there's Animal Crossing.

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The more I play Animal Crossing, the more badass it becomes. Someone come to my town and buy something from Nook so I can get the hair salon.

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I don't know what my problem is lately.

I started making some stencils for class. In the process. I started making stencils just to make stencils. I want to decorate my guitar case with them. I might have to steal some from Winters. If he's cool with it. Specifically, the heart and widow one. I forget what it's called. If I ever see him to ask him, that is.

I feel like I shouldn't have this anymore. Maybe I just need a new layout. Or finish doing the one I started back in the day.

I spent way too much money at the PWG show last night. I hope I have enough saved.

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