I don't think it's working anymore. Just a glimpse makes my joints ache. I can't wear my hoodie anymore without becoming weak. It's amazing how I never even knew her. What have I become?

Nights like tonight make me think I'll be this way forever. I wonder if I'll ever meet her. How awkward would that be?

I got mad at my hair. It is no more. I feel lost.

So I started playing World of Warcraft again. Around level 10, my orc hunter needed a pet, and I chose a nightsaber. Yeah, those things in Teldrassil here all the night elves start. Deep deep in allied territory. . If anyone knows, that's not an easy trek for a level 10. So I die a lot. Then I realize I can use the boats and teleporters while a ghost. So that made it easier.

So I tame me a nightsaber in between about 50 level 1-3 night elves. None of them attacked me, which made it easier not to kill them, since I couldn't. That would have been nice, though. I decide to go sight seeing. Exploring, gaining levels in allied territory was a new experience. Only one person attacked me, and I got an honorable kill (at level 14! My new record.) I notice a waterfall falling off the north edge of the giant tree. There's one little stupid spot on the edge of the cliff where you can get in, but can't get out. And it tempts you, because it loosk like you can just jump right out.

Stupid me, drops into it. The only way out is to teleport or die. And my hearthstone has 25 minutes left to cooldown. So I fall, and die. No biggie. I'll just get to my corpse and not fall into the waterfall again. But when I get there, my corpse is way to far below me, not allowing me to resurrect. So, stupid me falls down to my corpse, as a ghost. And instead of resurrecting, I fall again. This time it's about a 2 minute fall to the ocean below Teldrassil. (not exaggerating. 2 minutes falling.) Here's where I ended up after a little trek to see how far North I can go, since I can't get back on the tree from here.





Notice the edge of the world on the minimap.

After about 40 minutes of walking around the stupid tree, i'm here.



All in all, it took me way too long to accomplish very little in Teldrassil. I did end up getting rid of my cat around level 16 to tame a faster nightsaber. This one was in Dark Shore. Booya. For the record, I named my cat Bosh, after local wrestler Chris Bosh.

We had a really good show. A good turn out for the opening band, I'd say. There were more people watching us than watching the other bands. A lot of people enjoyed our set. A handful of people came up to me right when we finished to talk to me. I felt bad, because I kind of had to blow them off to get my shit off the stage for the next band to set up. But I made sure I found the few people to let them know. I'm sure they didn't care. But I did.

I don't know what's going to happen now. The stubborness really got to me tonight. I'm expecting some high school level drama here. We'll see how it goes.

I'm going to watch Home Movies, volume 3 and try and fall asleep. Again. Let's see how it works.

Time went by, and we became pretty close friends. We'd sit and play guitar in her van, we'd watch Home Movies, we'd listen to the B-52s. There was never anyone like her before.

One day, in her van, I noticed one of her guitars attached to the ceiling. As I reached up, I had noticed she wasn't there anymore. That moment is when I realized how much she meant to me. I still didn't know her name; only who she reminded me of.

I heard through some people that she was moving across the world. In a last effort, I drove out to find the van. As I stepped out of the car and into the rain, i was greeted with "Are you Cameron? I'm supposed to tell you that she's at the baseball field." I ran faster than I ever thought possible to find her in the stands watching a game that didn't exist. I stumbled up to her, and grabbed her in my arms. We just stood there, embraced, for hours. The first and last thing she ever said to me was "I must go." With that, I was alone.

She left her mark on me. I may not ever be the same person I was before I met her. And I can't even tell you her name. Thoughts of her still remind me. It's like it was all a dream. And I honestly can't tell you that it happened.

You can't take her away from me.

It seems all I do is watch that movie and listen to Him and The Cranberries. Oh, and there's Animal Crossing.

I started making some stencils for class. In the process. I started making stencils just to make stencils. I want to decorate my guitar case with them. I might have to steal some from Winters. If he's cool with it. Specifically, the heart and widow one. I forget what it's called. If I ever see him to ask him, that is.

I feel like I shouldn't have this anymore. Maybe I just need a new layout. Or finish doing the one I started back in the day.

I spent way too much money at the PWG show last night. I hope I have enough saved.

Our show last night was a blast. The guys in Gary84 and Full Metal Jacket were very cool. They told us we did great, even though we didn't. I'm sure you could tell it was our first show in a bar. We've got another one coming up on the 19th. Hopefully some friends can come down, since it's not 80 minutes away.

I gave myself 20 minutes to write this. The 20 minutes is up.

Happy new year.

Then he asks for my license, registration and insurance. So Jacob and I are digging around trying to find anything resembling them. I pull out my wallet, which is also pink, and he said "Is that your wallet? That thing is scorching."

I gave him my license, then about 3 insurance cards for a car I wasn't driving, all which were expired. Then I find the registartion, which was also expired. So we had to pull over to the side until I find it. Steve is in the back, laughing the whole time. After about 10 minutes of digging through my mom's console, he just says we can go.

The fuzz sucks.

Especially this time of the year. Something about southern california just doesn't say Christmas.

I think about this every year. I'm not religious at all. I think most people know that. But they never question the fact that I love Christmas, let alone celebrate it. It makes me feel a little weird. It's never really been a religious holiday in my family. I think that's how I justify it. I don't celebrate the birth of anyone. I just love the lights, the decorations, and the freaking christmas tree. We can never get that soon enough.

I now own 18 dvds worth of Spongebob. I wasn't even expecting it, but there are some pretty cool extras. A lot about the animation process. Storyboards and backdrops and whatnot. I want to make my own cartoon. I've started some character designs. It seems whatever I do has a simpsons feel to it. I guess I would blame it on the fact that Bart and Homer were the first characters I ever drew. I wish I could do voices like Billy West or Seth McFarlane.

Neutral Row is playing a few upcoming shows. Dec 21st in Corona, Dec 30th in Torrence and Januray 13th (i think) in Rancho? I don't know. It's all at the myspace. I've gotta print up some cd inserts.

Winters made some cd art. I would tell him that it's good stuff, but his blog hates me. It really has that "winters" feel to it. I would be proud to call it mine.

Two more weeks, then I'm done with the drawing. Or at least, the drawing classes. I need to get some books on animation. I have my eye on a few. It's funny how you try over and over to draw something and it's all bad. Then, one day, everything just clicks and it takes no effort to draw it now. Reminds me a lot of learning guitar. One day, Stairway to Heaven just worked. From then on, chords just worked like instinct.

I need to go to gamestop. I need to order Animal Crossing. I've gone through most of Castlevania. I'm at the final boss for Julius mode and New Game+ mode. Damn hell hard.

Still waiting on the puffy ami yumi picture.

Then there was the opener. Flyleaf. I had never heard of them before this. Their set really impressed me, except for the bass player. He was rocking a little too much for me. But the muisc is great. It's weird how a band can sound like the rest of the genre, yet I like this one a lot more than, say, Taproot or Breaking Benjamin. A little too heavy on the Jesus thing for me, but I still dig the music. And the singer has a great voice. I've been listening to them all day, except when I had to work.

I guess the Orange Pavillion doesn't allow moshing or crowd surfing. What kind of venue is that? I miss little venues where they don't really care what you do. Not that I do anything other than stand there, but still. I got a free hat. (Free hat!) But gave it to Chris. I don't really do hats. Not even free hats (bonch).

I don't know what else.

A show is lined up for the 22nd. Kinda. We're not sure of the timeslots, or the other bands playing, or the actual length of the event. Our source turned out to not know anything. So we're waiting on word from the head person over at RCC that's involved. Should be fun anyway.

We were practicing today, and someone called the cops on us. At 1:30 pm. What the crap is that? I have next Saturday off. Not sure why. But I'm not complaining. Maybe I'll get Mario Party, if Jacob and Steve aren't working. Or doing whatever it is that they do now. I haven't really talked to them in a while.

Staind tomorrow. Man, I hope they are still good. I hope they play Just Go. And maybe Home. I haven't been to a show in a while.

Oh oh. I just rememberd. PWG has All Star Weekend next weekend. Maybe we can go to Saturday's show. Steen vs. Bosh. Woo.